He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
