are you still at the devil's house?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
handjob tips. give me some.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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