I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
