They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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