??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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