He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
