I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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