we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
