Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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