You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
