I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
