I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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