YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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