you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
