Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize