My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
