Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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