and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
