i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
