just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
