I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
