i would punch a child for taco bell
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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