Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
