I look better un-naked...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
