I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
