i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Buhtt sex?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
