Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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