it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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