Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I still have a little drunk in my system
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
