Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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