im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
