if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
