I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
