spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
