so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
