Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize