...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
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Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
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Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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