She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
