WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
