Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
