you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
