So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
