I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
