his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
