She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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