i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm really busy with my period
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