and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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