ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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