I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
