You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
