What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
