I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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