To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
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I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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