Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
