they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize