I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
