To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
