what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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