I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize