the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize