i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
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you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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