So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
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One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
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You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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